A royal soap opera glittering with absurdity, but strangely mesmerising

And Princess Michael of Kent, “with Joan Collins as Alexis” in the royal family’s fictional opening credits, with a huge hat, royal feathers that were just filmed, and the kind that would make 40 steps The skinning cold eyes of the male servant outside. Compared to her, the young royal scandal magnet is just prose in the craft.

Princess Michael tops the list of semi-royals. According to a wonderful rumor, the Queen used to call her our Val, Val is short for Valkyrie, which is a nod to her intimidating height, her strong personality, and her icy way of reminding you how talented she is kind of recognition.

Still, she can rest assured that she has been invited to the coronation. Meg got a ticket, but then wisely declined. Fergie, Andrew’s ex-wife and Budgie small helicopter Author, not even one. Not because it bothered her too much.

“You can’t sit idly by,” Fogg said breathlessly on British morning television this week. “You’re either in or you’re out, don’t mess around”. If that wasn’t a shot through the bow of the Sussexes still at the gate of the palace, you don’t know how a soap opera works.

With the development of pantomime, Camilla Lockes and the Three Crowns What a fool. There are magical swords with names like the Bladeroom sword of Azkaban, sweeping trains made of animals so exotic no one remembers their names, and sparkling crowns encrusted with jewels.

Astutely, as if the king was trying to avoid a culture war in front of billions of people around the world, the controversial 105.6-carat Koh-i-Noor diamond was shrewdly left in the Tower of London. It has historically adorned the queen’s tiara, as if Camilla didn’t pack enough bags for the show.

Well, it keeps the rain out anyway. Spain's King Felipe and Queen Letizia attended the coronation ceremony.

Well, it keeps the rain out anyway. Spain’s King Felipe and Queen Letizia attended the coronation ceremony.Credit: Jamie Lorriman/AP Pool Photo

at the same time, Priest Zadok Exploding from the orchestra and the ghostly hands of God, almost reaching into the program. The only thing missing is the Archbishop of Canterbury starting his monologue with the words “Mawiage…” Now, that would be an Oscar-winning moment.

It’s ridiculous in common sense terms, but engaging in TV terms. It’s hard to explain how such unexpected fragility — two old men, a few shiny hats, and countless horns — can turn into something so compelling. Like trash can fires and car crashes, the royal family is surprisingly fascinating.

Maybe it’s because we’re easily hypnotized. Maybe it’s because we’re simple. Or maybe it’s because, in a broken and increasingly miserable world, the mundane alternatives on offer are Trump, the Kardashians, the Real Housewives and the cast of Toddlers and Tiaras.

Faced with these choices, you’d choose Windsor any day of the week.

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