A conversation about occupancy (C8) on public transport reminded Mark Morgan of Palm Grove (QLD) to an old story about the late Irish comedian Dave Allen. “He said if you want a [multi-seated European-style] Ride a train car by yourself, get in an empty car early, and every time someone comes to the door, beckon them in with a weird voice and say, “Come and sit next to me!” Grandma would love the chance to mention the great Dave Allen , especially since she did a little research and discovered that it had been 10 years since one of his funny observations was last cited in column 8. ten years? What a shame!
Coming from similarly creepy places, Chatswood’s Stephen Knox claims that “a surefire way to ensure you’re traveling alone on public transport is to simply make eye contact, smile and pat the seat next to you with anyone who might be oncoming you. Every time both work.”
Bowral’s Caz Willis recommends what she calls the “crowded David Bowie concert escape” to deal with seat bullies (C8). “‘Excuse me’ didn’t divide the crowd, however, ‘I’m going to be sick’ charted clear navigation into the open space.” Similarly, Joy Paterson of Mount Annam suggested in “‘Pretend to faint'” between them. Nothing garners instant sympathy like an old-fashioned steam case. “
Beverley Fine of Pagewood “had to go through 35 years after leaving her boring high school showcase early only to find out she won a peculiar award, her only 24 years of my son’s career as a teacher. No consolation there. Thanks to the politicians who have been patrolling the schools. You all deserve the prize.”
Umina Beach’s Meg Smith “Great to see the bank listing my membership fees to the teachers union under ‘entertainment’.”
Don Leayr of Albury was apparently not idle, writing: “If all the ink wasted writing ‘myself’ instead of ‘I’ or ‘I’ were used to draw a line line, it will span the entire page.”
Regarding hearing aids (C8) and the collective complaint of all Column 8 readers, David Atherford of Avalon Beach says, “I believe David Crockett wore three hearing aids in his later years. One for Right ear, one for the left ear, and one for the wild frontier.”
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